Different churches have different forms of wedding ceremony. In some, the groom repeats lines like these:
I take you to be my wife;
and I promise,
before God and these witnesses,
to be your loving and faithful husband;
in plenty and in want;
in joy and in sorrow;
in sickness and in health;
as long as we both shall live.
In others, the pastor asks a series of questions and the groom answers, “I will.”
Will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony?
Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
Some weddings have the participants write their own vows.
Regardless of the precise wording there is one noticeable absence. No “if”s. Marriage vows are not designed to be conditional. On the contrary, most of them clearly state that the vows do not depend on the circumstances (“in richer and poorer” “in sickness and health”).
No “If she treats me well, too.”
No “As long as I’m getting my needs met.”
No “Unless she’s disrespectful or selfish.”
About the best marriage advice I can give to a husband, if you want to get the most out of your marriage is: stop thinking about what you get out of your marriage.